Hello again! It has been way too long since I've posted, huh? Things have been a bit crazy, but I guess that's expected....

Most of you know that we made it to Wisconsin. We are doing okay up here, not great, but okay. Donald searched for a job for about a month and couldn't find one, so he went back to the Gazette. Thankfully he had that to fall back on, but it is difficult living on his salary alone! We are very lucky we had money in savings to get us through the summer. I will be starting my job the last week in August, so the money situation will get much better then! It looks like both of my classes will be full, so now I am just waiting on my teaching license to come back.

My sister had her baby last week - Matthew Lee. He is a perfect baby in every sense. One of these days I will find the cord to my camera so I can post some pictures.

I have been very worried about things lately that are mostly out of my control, but worrisome nevertheless. For the last year or so, I've been learning about Peak Oil and discovering that we are sadly in the midst of it. For those of you who've never heard of Peak Oil, I highly suggest checking out some of these sites: The Oil Drum, Casaubon's Book, and The Automatic Earth. In a nutshell, Peak Oil essentially means that the supply of oil in the world has reached its peak, and now supply will decrease while demand continues to increase. As if Peak Oil weren't enough, the financial crisis in the U.S. is adding to our economic worries. Implications of these to crises are apparent: more people being unable to afford energy (gas, electricity, etc.), more people being forced out of their homes as a result of foreclosure, and more people being laid off or losing their jobs.

Unfortunately I am beginning to realize that my mom may be one of the first victims of these crises. She simply cannot afford her electric bill ($200/month in the summer with no air and $400-$500/month in the winter), her house payment ($900/month), and food ($500 a month for the four of them). Mom got a disconnect notice in the mail the other day and is now furious at the electric company for not having any compassion, etc. as the rates have increased almost 100% over the last 2-3 years. It appears that my sister and her baby will be "moving in" with us as she cannot have a newborn in the house with no electricity. Time will only tell how long it will be before they lose their house and then what? Will the whole family need to move in with us? What about her animals? Things are very uncertain right now, especially here in Janesville since GM will be closing in a year or so. That puts over 3,000 people in this city out of work which will have huge effects on the local economy.

I don't know what will happen in the future. But I do know that things are about to change, big time. How much can you afford to spend on energy? Personally, I know for myself that if gas prices get much higher, we certainly won't be able to afford going much of anywhere. Electricity? We certainly couldn't afford $300/month! Thankfully our house is very energy efficient, but if our rates double, we'd be priced out. I am afraid that more people than not will be in this exact situation in the next year or two, and then what? There are big changes coming...

All I want to do right now is cry and sleep. We are leaving for Florida tomorrow morning and I have no desire to pack. It's that bad. Moving has become a nightmare. I never really had a good feeling about it to begin with, but it is going to be worse than I thought. The main employer in Janesville, GM, just announced that they are cutting the entire second shift, permanently laying off 750 employees. And because practically every other job in that damn city is dependent upon GM, other workers will be laid off, too. So, with literally thousands of suddenly unemployed people in a city with a population of only 60,000, the prospects of Donald finding a decent job are suddenly not so good.

As if that wasn't bad enough, Donald talked to his mom tonight and they've only filled my classes with about 8 kids so far. I need at least 30 to work full-time. In her words, worst case scenario is that I do the Kindergarten part-time and daycare part-time. I couldn't do it. I do not have six years of higher education to potty train kids. Sorry. Not to mention the daycare portion would only pay $10 an hour, if I'm lucky. Screw that. If I can't do the Kindergarten thing full-time, I'll have to find a different full-time job. And I just talked about how fun that's going to be.

I am so frustrated. Donald and I have worked too hard to throw everything away. I am NOT going to be broke again. We lived paycheck to paycheck for seven years. It's just been the last year that we've actually had the freedom of not counting every penny that we spend. I will not get back to that point again. Maybe I'm spoiled, but life is too short. I feel like we're making the biggest damned mistake of our lives....and I don't know what to do about it.

So yeah, I guess I need a vacation. Good thing we're leaving on one tomorrow - if I can motivate myself to pack, that is.

Some pictures from the last few weeks....

Donald and I went to the Obama rally when he was in town a couple weeks ago. We were right next to the entrance and we both got to shake his hand. It was awesome!

We spent 3 days on the Coast last week. Lauren loves to jump!

And jump!

Mommy and her baby.

Holding sand in her hands.

The "homeless" look is in this season. I always tell her she looks homeless when her hair's not brushed. Hah!

Lauren and the freaky Easter bunny today at the egg hunt.

I got caught in this picture. I just had to show off my fabulous new hair cut!

We colored eggs today!

Look at this one!

Yep, I'm sassy!

Ah, spring break. I so needed this week off. A lot of people think that breaks during the school year make teachers spoiled, but let me tell you, if we didn't get a week off from the kids, the kids wouldn't make it until the end of the year. I've spent my time off reading a novel and getting a little school work done. Not enough, but a little.

We went to the coast last weekend so Donald could play in a slot tournament. He didn't win, but we had fun anyway. It was nice to unwind for a couple days (well, a day really, because it always take me at least the first two days to actually unwind, and by the time that happens, it's time to go home). But whatever. I spent Sunday laying on the beach and that was glorious.

Tomorrow I am meeting with my host teacher for several hours so we can plan the next two weeks. I take over full-time teaching the Monday we get back, which I'm trying to forget about for right now. I can't believe I only have three weeks left. I'm ready to be done and sad for it to be over at the same time.

I'm still conflicted about going back to Wisconsin. Just the thought of being back makes me want to puke. Everyone else is so excited that we are coming home. Donald's family, my family, and our friends couldn't be happier. Don't get me wrong, I do miss all those people, but it has been so nice living a relatively stress-free existence for the past two years. We do our own thing, and that works for us. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I don't want my family calling me to do them favors anymore. Plus the winters suck. Thankfully we missed this one (they got something like 90 inches of snow! Holy fuck!).

Oh yes, I can't forget to tell you that Lauren has learned to swear in context. On our way back from the coast, we'd pulled into a gas station to get a drink. On our way out of the parking lot, a car pulled out in front of us. Surprisingly, Donald didn't swear. Not a second later, from the back seat, Lauren says "Dumb ass". I cracked up. It was so obvious that she was talking about the other car, too. She's also been calling Pa "shit head" and then saying "Pee-ew". Haha! She is such a little pickle head lately. I've taught her to say "I am tenacious" because that is exactly what she is. When she wants something, we wants it NOW thank you very much. FWIW, she can also say "I am ferocious". I think that's right on, too. Heh.

And because I have nothing better to do (yeah, right), I have to tell you that my father got his nipple pierced this weekend.

I honestly can't believe that I'm going to write this, but here goes. We're moving. Back. to. Wisconsin. I know. It's the stupidest idea we've had in a very long time. Except it's not that stupid. We have free daycare (Donald's mom runs a daycare), and Lauren will have family taking care of her all day, every day (Donald's sisters teach at the daycare). It's one of the best centers in the city, too. So that there will save us nearly $800 a month. Also, I already have a job. Janesville just passed 4-K so I'll be teaching that at Cargill (where I used to work). Donald is guaranteed a job back at the Gazette if he wants it, but he'll look for something better first. We can stay with Donald's parents until we get a house, which will also save us some money. It will be a very smart (financially, anyway) move for us, and hopefully we'll be able to buy a house soon. I never thought we'd end up back in Wisconsin, but I guess it wasn't as bad as we thought it was. We still want to move to Portland someday, but we need to wait until the economy is better and we both have guaranteed jobs there. I still think we are crazy...but, oh well!

Irrated...

Ugh, I had a shitty day at school today. First, when I arrived at six this morning to get ready for the day, I discovered that my host teacher moved my desk and all my stuff after I left yesterday. Then, to top it off, I'm not able to fit a chair where she put my desk, so I don't have a chair at my desk. Her solution is to use my desk area as a "storage area" and then do my work at the round table that is six feet away (and usually covered with crap). What a pain. She said that she moved my desk to make it look like there was more room in the classroom. Why that matters, I'm not sure, but whatever.

There are a couple other things that are irritating me to, but they're too complicated to explain and I'm tired. They all mostly stem from the fact that my host teacher cannot make a decision to save her life and tries to make everyone happy all of the time. I've come to the conclusion over the past few weeks that you're going to piss someone off no matter what you do, so you might as well just do what you want. Today she was trying to make a decision about what time she wanted me to teach math tomorrow when I was trying to leave for Lauren's swim lesson. She finally said that I'd teach at a certain time, which was fine with me, so I hurried out of there. Then, she called me on my cell on my way home and said that she'd changed her mind so that I could teach later in the day because I'd seemed stressed. I wasn't stressed, I was just trying to get the hell out of there! Then she played the pity card that she was probably going to be at school until seven tonight and that she'd try to get everything done so that she could teach reading right away in the morning.

I know that none of these things are major. My host teacher and I really do get along quite well, even though we are very different. It is really hard to share someone else's classroom and try to fit in to their routines that have already been established. But, it will all be over in a little over four weeks and then hopefully next fall I'll have my own classroom!

Ah, thanks for letting me bitch....

It's going to be a good day....

Donald and Lauren went to Wal-Mart and to get Krispy Kremes, and I'm here actually getting stuff done. It's a freakin' miracle. Later they are going to the park to feed the mean geese, so that's even better. Maybe I won't be completely stressed this week.

Speaking of stressed, only 5 weeks to go! Two weeks before spring break, which won't really be a break since I'm woefully behind in my actual school work. So, my nine days will be spent writing papers and (hopefully) finishing my teacher work sample. Oh, minus the three days that we are going to the coast for a much-deserved break. Should be fun.

In other news, it appears we are going to go ahead and move. If I had my way, we'd be staying here another year or two (I can't believe I'm saying it either), but only because I absolutely adore the school that I'm teaching in and am pretty sure I could score a job there. Donald has made his position known, and he is 1000% ready to move, so I guess I have to let him have a say in the matter. I don't know dates or even details, but our lease is up here the end of May, so it'll be around that time. Cross your fingers that I'll be able to find a job where ever we end up!

Since I'm bored and awake, I figured I could spare a few minutes to give my blog a much-needed update. While I really should be planning my science lessons for next week, I'm so sick of school crap that I need a distraction.

Student teaching is going really well. I just finished my 5th week, so I have 7 weeks to go! It is going really fast, but these past 5 weeks have been the longest of my life. Does that make sense? My kids are all (mostly) sweet. About half of them brought me a gift for Valentine's; I could hardly believe it. There's one boy in my class that just gets on my every last nerve for whatever reason, but other than that, the kids are great. We really don't have any discipline problems in the classroom, other than just typical 4th grade stuff. The first few weeks of teaching were really rocky for me - I was beginning to think that I'd made a horrible career choice. Everything was just really overwhelming. The last two weeks, though, have been great. I'm really enjoying it and I think that I'll be mostly happy as a teacher. I do think that I want to move up a few grade levels, though. I just can't get into the cutesy-cutesy elementary stuff, and I think I would like to focus more on math and science than the reading that is emphasized in elementary schools. I would have thought that I would really like teaching reading and language arts, but I so do not. I dread reading every day. To me, it's just damn boring and tedious teaching kids to read. Is that horrible? I would much rather be doing math and science experiments. I guess every teacher has their own strengths and weaknesses and likes and dislikes.

These damn kids have also made me and everyone else I know sick. I've had some sort of respiratory infection now for over a week. It's finally starting to get better, but dang it sucked. Donald also got sick, and so did my dad, but somehow Lauren has escaped it (for now). All hail the power of booby juice!

Speaking of Lauren, she seems to be doing okay with me being gone all day. The first few weeks were rough, but she's gotten used to my dad now. I really do miss hanging out with her all day. We spent today cuddling and just hanging around the house, which was great. I'm ready to be done with school so I can go back to being just mommy! Sadly that will probably only last a few months, since I'm probably going back to work this fall. I would really love to stay home with her for a few more years, but my student loan payments are going to have to get paid. It'd also be nice to get a bit more money saved so we can put a down payment on a house in a few years!

Speaking of houses, I don't know if we are moving this spring or not. With the economy going the way that it is, I don't know if it is such a good idea right now. I can just see us moving all the way out there and not being able to find jobs. We have enough money saved to live for 6-8 months, but I really don't want to blow through all of our savings. I'm going to begin applying for jobs here next month, and we'll see if I get any offers. If I do, we're really going to have to think about it. I know Donald is all gung-ho on leaving in May because he's sick of his job, but he really does have it good at work. I definitely don't want to stay here long-term, but we may end up sticking it out another year or two. We shall see.

Hhhm, what else? I can't sleep right now because it is supposed to storm pretty badly tonight. I bought a weather radio today, but I don't know if I have it set-up properly. I really should be working on school stuff, but I'm so not into it. Maybe tomorrow?

Go Barack!

Good Lord, I am tired. I don't know how people do this every day, all day. This work thing is kicking my butt. That being said, student teaching is going fine. I can't say that I LOVE it, but I'm hanging in there. Three weeks done, nine to go. When will the light come on at the end of the tunnel?

Yeah. I don't have much to say because I don't have time for anything except school. Lauren's doing pretty well with me being gone all day. The first two weeks were pretty tough on here, but last week she did better. At least she's not screaming bloody murder when I leave in the morning anymore :o( She started gymnastics a few weeks ago and is really loving that. She calls it "wee class". Hah. She's also speaking really well now. I can understand almost everything she says and most of the time she talks in sentences. She can recognize her name when it is written and can name almost anything you point to. Brilliance must run in the family, haha.

Well, I'm going to bed before I pass out at the computer. Just wanted to give a quick update since I know most of you have assumed I've died. Maybe you'll hear from me again in a few weeks :o)

Happy Birthday, Lauren!

Happy Birthday, Lauren!

I can’t believe that you are two today! The last two years have been two of the longest years of my life, yet they have flown by. I know that doesn’t make sense to you, but someday it will, I promise.

You are such an amazing girl, and daddy and I are already so proud of you. You are so smart that people cannot believe that you are only two! You’ve known all of your letters now for three or four months, and now you can count to thirteen all by yourself! You are talking in three and four word sentences now, and you always know just what you want (and aren’t afraid to let anyone know it!). Some of your favorite things to say are: “Have it now, Mama!”, “Naughty kitty cat”, and of course, “More ummies please, Mama”.

Speaking of ummies, you still love to nurse. Mama never intended to nurse you so long, but you do love it so much that I don’t have the heart to take them away. Not that mama minds, really. Our ummy time is some of my favorite time to spend with you, when it is just you and mama and we can talk and hug and cuddle. I don’t know if you will still be nursing next year on your birthday, and if you aren’t, mama will really miss our ummy time together. You love to give your baby doll ummies, too. Just today you wrapped your baby up in a blanket, laid down next to her on the floor, and gave her ummies to help her go to sleep. You are very sweet to your baby doll and someday you will be a wonderful mother yourself.

You just started gymnastics class last week (which you call wee class) and you love it! Grandpa took you last week because mama had to be at school, and he said you did a great job! Mama is very excited because she gets to take you today and see you do your wees. I know that you will be just wonderful! You love to watch wees on TV and today you were trying to do them by yourself (all the while shrieking, “weeees!”).

One of your favorite things to do these days is read books. We don’t get to read nearly enough together anymore, now that mama has to go to school every day, but we do try to read every night together. Your favorite books right now are “Millie Moo”, “The Barnyard Dance”, and “Go, Dog, Go!”. You have so many books and we’ve read all of them at least once! I hope that by next year on your birthday you are beginning to read yourself!

Well, baby, I hope you have a great birthday! You are so excited because we are going to play games and eat pizza later. Grandpa is making you a clown cake and mama and daddy have gotten you lots of Dora presents! When you wake up this morning, you will be two! Mama will miss her baby, but she can’t wait to play with her BIG GIRL!!!

Love always,

Mommy

Day 3 - Oh the work

I'm starting to get overwhelmed already and I'm just getting started! After getting to school at 6:30 and not getting home until 4:30 (at least), I'm already exhausted! Then, I have to do the mom thing, the wife thing, plus all my extra stuff for school! I honestly don't know how two-working parent families do it! I imagine we will all get used to it.

I had a short day in the classroom today. All the 4th grade teachers had science training this afternoon from noon until 3:30, so that took up the second half of the day. The school is working with an AWESOME science program through Delta State University that essentially gives teachers science kits with everything done. It will save so much time in the classroom and be so great for the kids! It is wonderful!

One thing I did notice today in the classroom was some disorganization/chaos during research time in the computer lab. I think it can easily be said that we don't spend enough time on science or history (30 minutes twice a week for each subject) and today's science/history session was nearly worthless, in my opinion. My HT told students to research either The French and Indian War for history, or flowering and non-flowering plants for science. She didn't really give them any direction as to what to look for while doing this, just to print off good research. Needless to say, the kids went print crazy, printing everything they found (many things duplicates because they all went to the first result in the search engine) and not reading any of it. After 30 minutes in the computer lab, we had over 300 pages of printed material. I'm not sure what my HT is planning on having the kids do with it, but most of it is way above their level anyway! I think it would have been much more worthwhile if students would have had a few specified sites to go to and find specific information.

I'm going to start working on my first lesson plans tonight. My first real lesson will be in Mississippi History. I'm thinking of doing a jigsaw lesson, and I think that will work out really well as the students really enjoy working in groups.

Student Teaching Drama

For the last six months or so, I was all geared up to start my student teaching January 7, the first day back after winter break. My dad arranged his schedule so he could be home then, and I cleared my own schedule. I left Wisconsin when I did so that I would have time to get my stuff in order before school started. It was all working out just fine.

I met with my host teacher the Friday before I was supposed to start, and it went really well. She seems very nice and really knows her stuff. She uses a ton of group work and really involves students in the classroom. I left our meeting Friday afternoon ready to get started on Monday.

Friday evening I got an email from my placement coordinator stating that I wouldn't be starting until January 28! Needless to say, I panicked. It was Friday night, and of course everyone at my school was out of their office for the weekend. I did manage to talk to my mentor, and we agreed that I would try to get it all taken care of and hopefully start on Tuesday. He thought the email may have been a mistake, but wanted to make sure first before I entered the classroom.

Well, turns out the email wasn't a mistake, so after about 3 days of trying to figure things out, I decided to just "go with the flow" and start the 28th. I figured it might work out better, anyway, since my dad had just gotten home and not had a lot of time to adjust to Lauren and him to her. I scheduled some appointments and bought a few books to pass the time.

Now, this morning, I got another email from my placement coordinator asking me to start THIS Monday, the 14th! Ugh! After I just got all those appointments scheduled and rearranged! Not to mention that I have to get myself into a "mindset" to start big things like this. I was all ready to go last week, but now I've put myself into "vacation" mode again! Talk about annoying!

So, I guess I'm starting on Monday. It will work out better in the end, as I'll be done April 11 now instead of May 2. We will be able to have more time to pack and move, plus my dad will be able to get back to California sooner. Now I have a lot to do this weekend, including some serious shopping and planning. Yikes!

Hahah, guess I haven't posted in a while. Well, we made it home from Wisconsin safely. It really was a nice trip, other than the fact that Lauren and I were both sick nearly the entire time we were there. First it was a nasty stomach virus, then a cold from hell. We are both still coughing, actually. I suspect I may have had a touch of bronchitis, but I seem to be nearly back to normal now. I was a huge slacker with the camera while we were home, so unfortunately I don't have too many pictures, but here are what few I have.


This is Lauren and her cousin Logan playing after they opened their Christmas presents at Donald's parents house. Both of them are only children and they played together surprisingly well!
Here's Lauren on Christmas Day at Great Grandma's house in Dubuque, Iowa.


Here she is with Great Grandma. It's funny - grandma usually scares the crap out of little kids, but for some reason Lauren loved her. They sat together all morning!This is my mom with Lauren. After not seeing my mom for over a year, it was strange to see how old she looks now. I had a really nice time with my mom this time and I'll miss her!

It snowed A LOT while we were home! The day that this picture was taken we got about 10 inches! Lauren had a great time playing in the snow! We had to borrow a snowsuit from the daycare because we (obviously) didn't have one, so that's why looks like a blue snow bunny.

Brrr!!!Aunty Charlotte (Donald's sister)Aunty Anna (Donald's youngest sister)Uncle Jake (my brother)
Lauren just loves her Uncle Jake! They had a great time playing together.
Aunt Lexy (my sister)
More about why her face looks like that later :o(